fantora's Journal

Rob and Jess had their baby at 2:30 this morning. We went and saw them in the hospital....the little cutie pie. Trafton James Gonzales...I want to steal it and keep it for my own. I can't wait until its my time to have a sweet little child. I guess moving to Brooklyn will have to preoccupy my time until then.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Alias...is it ever off in this house?

So fucking neat...
http://cgi3.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewUserPage&userid=auctioncause

Just found this link and thought it was really cool. Imagine...Ingrid Calebro on a gravestone...or Ingrid the dead zombie....or whichever name I could be in print!

Current Mood: excited

Perma-grin kinda day...
I just listened to my husbands voice on the radio. An introduction on who he is, what his radio show is going to be like and a detailed weather report.

I love my sweetie who not only kisses good, but lets me know if I'm going to boil tomorrow or be comfortably cool...

Good day of healthy food, reading,playing piano,lounging in bed cuddling and going to the gym. It was fun doing cardio between Steve and Anne.

We have fruit flies that won't go away in the kitchen. The only downer of my week so far...the fuckers are taking over.

Current Mood: loved
Current Music: Merbow...or however you spell it...

I can't get away...
Today has been one of the weirdest days. I'm having a hard time keeping it together, and all I want to do is hang out in Brattleboro. I think I'm having some serious homesickness...but at the same time, I feel like I'm being attacked with the past, which in turn makes me feel crazy/nostalgic/sad/worried, and I'm not sure if being back at home would make me feel any better. Dreams of ex-boyfriends, that I didn't even really LIKE or treat nicely while dating, turn me into a moron all day because I can't stop thinking of that person. Working on a present for a friend, which involves looking through old journals and pictures, which then turns me into a depressed fool. Check my email and find a cryptic message from the boy I dated before moving here and feel utterly confused and trapped in 2001.
I'm married. I love Steve with all my heart, but that doesn't make confronting past issues any easier. I wish I didn't feel so uncomfortable in my skin sometimes.

Current Mood: odd and sad
Current Music: Hot Hot Heat

Creole Rock...
is absolutley amazing. This whole week has been amazing. We leave really early tomorrow morning, so today is our last day in beautiful St. Martin. We went to the French side's captial yesterday and walked around, went shopping, ate pizza. Today we had one of our watersports men take us to Creole Rock...one of the best sites for snorkeling that happens to be right near our hotel.

It was so amazing. So beautiful, so clear and clean and deep. We saw squid, huge fish, a massive school of tiny fish and other odd assortments. No sharks, but I guess they're not seen that often. We had to leave the site early because my body has turned into a 90 year olds (I guess) and the littlest thing makes me sick to my stomach. I used to be the girl that would boast, "I never get motion sickness! I can ride any ride! Go on any rough seas! I will be fine!" All that's changed....I barely made it back to land without booting.

I'm trying to get as much more tropical sun that I can today. I've never darkened to quickly in my life. This honeymoon stuff is amazing, and I can't wait to top it off with a weekend in the White Mountains. As much as Steve and I love it here, we are anxious to be back home. It'll be sad to leave, for sure, but being home will be really nice. If only we could have these warm ocean waters up North. I'd be in the water everyday.

See you all in a few! Just wait to see the horrible tourist T-shirts Steve will be wearing!

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: the receptionist desk

Down to the wire....
I get married in 2 days. With all I have to do it feel like less. The limo that I paid for months ago, FINALLY, at my prompting, just sent my reservation sheet via email.

It says: VEHICLE - sedan (2 persons).

Ummmm...excuse me? Sedan? Where's the fucking limo I ordered? Ugh. I'm waiting for those assholes to call me back, although she's now claiming, "well it's going to cost you a lot more than what you paid..."
Fuckers!

I'm too stressed to deal with this. They just called back and said it'll be $60 more....FINE. I don't want it to feel like my granparents are driving me to my honeymoon.

My bachelorette party was great, and I'm not too hurt today. Pineapple shots at the Dolphin Striker have to be the best tasting thing I've ever had. All my bridesmaids are doing fantastic with getting shit done.

I'm so excited for Saturday! It's gonna be great! Sorry you can't go Daina, it really really blows.

Current Mood: nervous
Current Music: some bride show in the background...

Surprise partys rock...
So Steve was very very surprised. He thought he was getting a nice, home cooked meal. Nope. Just a lot of beer, friends, music and fried mushrooms from Pizza Factory.
Thanks to everyone who showed up and made a great night happen.

We are down to exactly two weeks until the wedding. 14 motherfucking days and my nerves are just on overload. I can't wait to just sleep in a hammock on the beach right outside our oceanfront suite. Tropical waters...so fucking nice.

So much happening in the remaining two weeks...so many shows, so much bridal shit to finish, the boys go camping and my bachelorette party of, well, whatever my crazy sisters come up with.

All I know is that with all this stress, and all the craziness, I have the best boyfriend in the world. I love you sweets!

Current Mood: groggy
Current Music: Queen

Almost in the teens...
Tomorrow when I arrive at work, someone will replace the 22 of today with a 21. TWENTY-ONE days until the most amazing, yet most stressful, day of my life. The wedding dress fitting went over really well, and thankfully the huge rip I made in the back of it when attempting to undress solo can easliy be fixed.
Had such a blast in the mountains Monday night. Got Nova's car stuck in the most amazing amount of disgusting smelly mud. Drank beers on a porch overlooking the mountain range, sat in rocking chairs and listened to great music. Next time will be even better because I'll be officially Mrs. Calebro. All the customers are really getting into counting down the days with me.
I'm wishing I had chosen a different wedding dress, only because it's really heavy and not that summery. Should be all right though, they have AC at the lodge, so I'll just have to survive the ceremony.

Can't wait to go to St. Martin!

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Birth Rites

Delayed hangovers suck...
Steve and I drank at Thom and Chris' house last night. Woke up feeling fine, as did Steve, and all it took was a hellish trip to the mall to make the hangover come raging into full force.

At least I was wrong, and my wedding fitting is actually tomorrow night - not in a few hours.

Nova, Dan, Steve and I are heading up to my family house in the mountains tonight. We were planning on lounging at the lake, in the bright warm sunshine, but if tomorrow's anything like today - I don't know what we'll do instead.

Should be nice regardless.

Booked our honeymoon today. We're going to Saint Martin for 5 days, oceanfront studio with kitchenette, breakfast included.... We were originally going for 7 days but it didn't agree with our budget. Instead we get back Friday afternoon and a few friends and us are going to my family house for the weekend. Nice way to get used to being away from palm trees and crystal clear blue waters.

Sliced a CHUNK of my first knuckle off with a broken glass in our sink. THAT should look pretty and crusty for wedding pictures.

Current Mood: excited, tired and hungover
Current Music: G n' R

too much prince.
i've listened to too much prince today. i think i need a cd change, but have been too occupied with other tasks to even notice the repeating CD.

have my wedding dress fitting on Monday evening.
so excited.
fits perfectly already, just need a hem and a bustle.

can't believe the wedding is in 29 days. fucking crazy, nerve wracking, amazing and exhausting all at the same time. have so many wedding arts and crafts to get finished in so little time. silly wedding cd mixes for the guests.

going to see nova sing in the camarojuana karaoke night in dover. she'll kick ass like the girl only knows how to do. excited to go, but i already just feel so tired, i just want to sleep.

need to figure out honeymoon plans.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: prince

Champagne? Check.
Stocked up at Geary's Beverages today. Fun walking back home, in the pouring rain, in the afternoon, juggling a case of beer and bottles of champagne...

Tonight is the night my dearest girl arrives. I've already secured her a living spot for the summer (Thanks all at 824! I can't thank you enough!) but there's still the possibility she may not stick around. Her 18 year old brother just had a baby, so she was originally planning on sticking around Vermont and helping him out. I think I may have her fully persuaded on staying in the Seacoast area, which would be the ultimate dream come true.

This whole town will love her.

I just have an hour to kill here at home, before heading to the airport and returning home for some serious drinking! Hanging with my two favorite people! Finally, the two most important people to me will meet! Such a fucking fantastic day...

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Salt N Pepa

Only 44 more....
I don't know if I should be stressed that I'm getting married in 44 days, or if the fact that I'm really calm about it is OKAY.

Whatever.

I know i'll be freaking when the numbers get even smaller.
I think my best friend, Ines, will be staying here for the summer. 2 months of the most amazing girl in the world...I know everyone here will absolutley adore her, she's just so fucking great.

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: blondie

There once was a man from Nantucket...
Leaving in moments for Nantucket...
I always seem to turn to this thing when I have an unbearable 10 minutes to kill...

Our crazy fucking cat Sergi just escaped to the ledge running around our floor. So surreal to walk into the bedroom and see him pearing in from the outside, the fucker.

Can't wait to be on the island, no matter the weather. I haven't been there since my Oma's funeral. Tons of family that I'll get to see. Get to drink at the bar I grew up singing in, running up to get free cherry's from my uncle who bartended there forever. An old whaling bar. Dark, small, underground...I fucking love that shit.

Time to finally go meet the damn bus that we'll be stuck on for too long.

Current Mood: excited

It's all soooo much!
I should be napping with my sweetie right now, in our warm bed, on this rainy afternoon. But the magnitude of tasks I still have to accomplish for the wedding is nerve-wracking...so I walked back to BNG to get some caffiene and have started working on shit.

Seating arrangements? More of a pain-in-the-ass than imagined. Trying to seat people with people they love, while trying to intigrate those awesome people they don't know. It's like a science experiment....

I think the end result will be well-approved, and it's only for an hour. Then people can dance up a storm and seat-swap all they want.

We're going to Nantucket for our anniversary May 9th...Can't fucking wait. Free stay at an inn, beautiful beaches and family I haven't seen in forever.

Been working on awesome songs with Nova, and there's definetley a bunch that will kick ass even more with Alex's guitar...so we gotta figure out something girl!

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: Debbie fucking Gibson!

I am a girl of 100 lists...
I'm blaring Go-Go's Vacation album. I'm so crazily obsessed with it right now. The album that I worshiped as a kid has come back full force. God bless those Go-Go's...
Steve's banned from the house until later on tonight, as Nova and I are having girl night. Wine, chips and salsa, and the fantastic Cory Feldman and Cory Haim movie to help us get giggly-wine buzzed on.
Surprised I didn't wake up hungover this morning after drinking gin an tonics at the Muddy. I think that'll have to be my pre-DST drink on Sundays from now on. The non-stop line out the door at BNG wears me out to the point of just wanting to pass out at 7...let alone have an evening of party/drink/karokee...and gin seems to bring me back to life.
Blah.
Have nothing of importance to write. Just killing the time...

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Go-Go's, He's So Strange...best song EVER!

You don't have to be rich to rule my world....
My hands, arms, hair and clothes smell like chocolate, sugar and coffee.
I smell sweet, and probably taste just as sweet, and that's a fine change from onions and taco beef.

On top of the layer of coffee smell resides the shedded hairs of our sweet kitties. So much character and love, I realize how lucky I am to have them at all times...even at 2:45 or 4:55 AM when they decide it is the best time to play with loud toys. Don't bother getting up to take them away, they'll just find something else to play with, and possibly it'll be a cherished breakable.

And as FUCKING stressed as I am with wedding planning, the life that I lead is pleasing and fantastic, and little things (like blaring Prince while cleaning my apartment this sunny afternoon) make my day.

I'm excited for the boy to get home from work, because he doesn't need to be coated in chocolate and sugar to make him sweet - he just is.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Prince

Almost human again...
I've been sick with a stupid fucking cold for the past few days. I finally took a shower today, removed the nests from my hair, and have begun to clean up our apartment. I love how i'll ignore a band I love for months at a time, and then when I hear a particular song again (Indianapolis, Drag the River) I just start to gush all over again. My day is now complete now that this song just came on.
Anyways.
There's only 3 months left until the wedding. Does anyone, I mean ANYONE comprehend how FUCKING SOON THAT IS?!?!? I just get so jittery thinking about it. It'll be here before I blink next. We met with Mark the other night for Japanese food and went over the ceremony. Brilliant. Beautiful. It's going to be amazing. I'm reading my vows first, so as not to already be choking on tears after hearing Steve's.
My goodness. It's all so crazy and wonderful and exciting.
I'm worried my wedding dress won't be done in time. Going to the gym today with Anne so we can both get in summer/wedding fitness shape. I've got to look deadly amazing in my wedding dress, and especially for walking on the beach with my husband...
Alex, it's gonna be a blast playing music...neither of us will know what we're doing - which will make it all the more better!

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Drag the River

Papa's Got a Brand New Bag!
We have our two new cats.
Memphis, the all black cuddle lover, is not enjoying James Brown blaring on the CD player. But what Memphis doesn't know, or wouldn't care to comprehend, is that I FINALLY have a day off (two of them in a row, to be exact) and I'm ready to drink up a storm. Sadly though, it's Sain Patty's day - and I don't want to deal with the chaos of the bars, although I know we'll end up going. I spent too much money on CD's today and a pair of pants, but I don't care. I'm actually working 40 hours a week, and getting good tips at that.
I'm sketched out about wedding invitations and the fact that people may assume by the RSVP card that they can bring guests if they feel like it. Sadly, not the case. So now I have to tell people that if their envelope said only their name, it means ONLY them. If it said and guest, well, then they can bring a guest. Whatever. Silly wedding shit. Haven't checked my girlie countdown calender in a while. Wonder how many more days it is now? I bet somewhere like a hundred.
Holy shit,
i'm gonna be a bride.

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: James Brown

Murphy and Sandler
Steve and I are getting two cats, and we're suppose to get them today. But this fucking SNOW SHIT is possibly going to foil our plans. I'm not sure if our ride is going to want to drive a bunch in it.
Fucking A...I just want to curl up with three other bodies in the bed today. I want to play with our new cats, who are absolutley beautiful...Murphy is completely black and Sandler is all white.

Yup. I got cat fever and I want to go get them now...

i love my new job.

Current Mood: hungover
Current Music: real world philly

my shivering teeth...
It's too cold in our apartment.
I've turned the heat up to over 80, yet that stubborn needle remains at 60.
It feels like a fucking icebox, and I'm excited to go to work so I can be warm and drink coffee.
I have two days left at Margaritas and I'm feeling sick, or maybe just sick of the thought of there, and if I feel sick still tomorrow - then I'm not going in. It's just not worth it to wear myself out for that place.

I've been putting together the wedding invitations and it's more of a pain in the ass than I had imagined. And my handwriting's pissing me off, but i hope they'll be going out by this weekend.

I'm sick of waiting for the humane society's webpage to work and deliver our application for a cat. I've called quite a few times and they still haven't gotten the million forms I've filled out.
Oh well. Patience. Soon enough we'll have a purring cat in our apartment, which will hopefully have some heat by then.

Current Mood: sleepy

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